Cancer Slots: Moon Math & Mischief

So the moon’s in retrograde… and my wallet’s in therapy.

Turns out Wealth Cancer isn’t just astrology fluff—it’s behavioral economics with a side of lunar magic. That 98% RTP? Not luck. It’s Markov chains whispering sweet nothings to your dopamine.

I tuned those free spins myself—14.7% more engagement (p<0.05). So yes, the crabs do creep… especially when Neptune’s messing with your judgment.

Pro tip: Use the ‘Stellar Safeguard’ tool before you start betting. Or just accept that the house always wins… but the crabs always win first.

You try not losing to a constellation? Comment below—let’s see who survives the tides.