From Starry-Eyed to Crab Royalty

As a slot designer, I can confirm Wealth Cancer’s cosmic crabs are statistically the funniest way to lose money responsibly. That 98.5% RTP during ‘Cosmic Alignment’? Basically astrology for gamblers - but with spreadsheets to back it up!

Pro Tip: When the crabs start dancing, that’s not a bonus trigger - that’s your bankroll waving goodbye! (Set those alarms, folks)

Who else pretends they’re ‘analyzing volatility patterns’ when really just chasing that sweet dopamine meteor shower? 🎰✨