I spun my last $12K on a Brighton balcony hoping for wealth… got a crab instead. Turns out ‘free spins’ were just whispered invitations from the sea — and my Roth wasn’t cash, it was existential dread in slow-mo GIF form. At UCL I learned: wisdom isn’t data points, it’s crying into your coffee while the stars don’t care if you win — they’re just waiting for you to stop scrolling. Join the StarSea Sanctuary? Nah. Bring your own quiet win… or just quit gaming before your therapist does.